holdingon2dreams: (nevertouchtheground)

Look at the Blank Pages Before You With Courage

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Created on 2017-04-08 21:30:52 (#2970638), last updated 2017-09-19 (1 week ago)

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Birthdate:Aug 19
I am a woman. I am a child some days as well. I am a student. I am a scientist and an artist rarely both simultaneously but I am both. I am a role model. I am a teacher. I am a friend and to some a dear friend. I am a daughter and a sister. I am an athelete. I am a swimmer and a runner. I am a dancer still at heart. I am a FIGHTER. I am a SURVIVOR. I am an optimist, but I am also human. I am a realist. I am atleast for today alive and well.

So it's time for an update I think...

This is me...I don't always look this studious...

Picture 94

I'm graduating from my Human Kinetics Degree in the spring of soon! Initially I had planned on going to medical school once that was done, but I've decided instead to return to nursing. I am hoping to be enrolled in a second-entry (so accelerated stream-a 2 year degree in four years) next fall. If not I have secured a spot in a nursing program for which I'm hoping I'll be granted some advanced standing for all the dull and boring science I've done as a part of this degree.

Once finished nursing (which I started in what seems like a previous life) I am hoping to work in an ICU or preferably a pediatric ICU type of position for a few years before completing a masters and my NP diploma. The end goal is to work in a multi-disciplinary family health practice.

Currently I work as a "camp nurse" under an EMT type certification during the summer. I love it and the boys I take care of to pieces. It's one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

I have a cat. Her name is Paige...she's super cute and possibly the best kitty in the world!-but I could be biased.


My family is basically a train wreck. Growing up was traumatic to say the least. I've been diagnosed with pretty much everything in the book (ie the DSM) but once treatment for my PTSD really took off my life got exceedingly better and very quickly. But basically I've had an eating disorder which I still don't consider myself completely recovered from...but most days-today I don't even almost meet the criteria and haven't for about 14 months I guess. With medical complications of Bulimia I did end up gaining a substantial amount of weight. I'm losing it now...slowly, lovingly and mindfully. I believe I will always find food comforting-but today I find even more strength in self care. I can do this. I can be healthy.

Basically that's the aim, no matter how long it takes. Luckily I've also been an athlete and find a lot of comfort in that too-and have healed from my losses through that avenue in my life so that I return to it with peace and self forgiveness in mind.

You will hear me refer to the "parts of me"...the easiest way to explain that is to call it a Dissociative Identity Disorder, but it's not...more like the fractured experience of one identity.

In any case...they say that it takes someone seven tries to leave an abusive situation...I takes longer if you love them and have no sense of self invested outside of them. I've been trying to do it solidly for years now. I just remind myself that I'm not leaving them behind, they are staying behind.

Forgiveness is power. I do believe that...but it doesn't have to roar.

My friends have always been the best of me. And I'll love them always.

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